Ceny Wijangco Santiago

Farewell Letter to Mama

This is probably the hardest letter I ever have to write. Eight years ago, it was very difficult to say good-bye to you and papa at the airport.

I remember as you fondly twirl the corner of a handkerchief until it’s all tattered. When I asked why you would do that, you answered, “Swerte yan!” (That's Lucky!). And who could forget that itchy blanket that you like rubbing your feet against? And remember how you loved using Tiger Balm before going to bed. That pungent odor sticks on your pillow. Papa’s sense of smell must be shot down by now.

Looking back at your life, there are lots of good things that you have shown me, but three important things stick out:

First is courage. Throughout your life’s ups and downs, you have gone through the toughest tests head-on with dignity. I am proud of you! These trials were a blessing-in-disguise; you renewed and deepened your relationship with God. Just like what the scripture says, “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Secondly, good communication is vital. Our family and friends probably remember you as the “family reporter”. “Oh ayan si Ceny dumadaldal na naman!” (Ceny is chatting again!). You always tell detailed stories with so much gusto. I only have to call you to find out what's going on with everyone. You may come across as talkative, but you are actually a good listener too. How else would you have retained the details of those stories without listening to others? A good communicator can speak from the heart and can listen as well.

You also stressed the importance of keeping in touch with people you care about. “Yong anak ng tita ng napangasawa na pangalawang kapatid ni…” (The son of your aunt who married the second sibling...) the connections were complicated. I can’t imagine how you kept track of our super extended network of family and friends.

And most importantly, you have proven to me that unconditional love exists. You have loved me no matter what. After all the love you have given me, you never asked for anything in return. I may not be the perfect son but you are certainly the perfect mother for me. I could not have asked for a better mother. I love you very much!

And the love between you and papa is amazing. You have been through the toughest of times, but ended loving each other more.

If there is something I deeply regret is not being able to show you the States and New York City. I would have loved to show you the Empire State Building, Central Park and see a Broadway play together. But on the other hand, I think heaven is a thousand times better than New York City!

Also, it is painful to think that I won’t see you again. But when I look at the mirror, I see you in me. Half of me is from you. I even laugh like you. You still live on through me.

Please be strong, my papa. You still have me, Sara and Sonny. It is only a temporary separation. When the right time comes, mama will give us a grand tour of heaven.

Farewell for now, my mama. Remember those times when you couldn’t sleep because of worrying too much? Now is the time to rest in God’s hands.

You will be missed a lot, and certainly will not be forgotten.

If they do, I will remind them!

Your loving son,

Rod